TODAY is a broken mirror.

Hypothetically, if my mirror was broken I’d have to rely on other people to tell me what I look like. Lately I’ve felt a little like that. Not about physical appearance though, but about who I am. What is my personality? How do I come off? What am I like?

I thought I knew… or was close to figuring it out.

But I can tell by the way that some people don’t get my jokes. Or by the look in their eyes when I say, “you know?” that tells me they don’t. Or by the things that they say in passing, words that were never meant to stick but do.

I think we might all come with “broken mirrors” or at least blind spots. We can’t see ourselves completely all around, so we are forced to rely on interaction with others to inform us of ourselves.

But the thing about mirrors is that they allow you to fix little mishaps before having to expose them to the world. For instance, if you see in the mirror that you’ve got a booger, you can pick it. A zit, you can pop it. A stray lick of hair, you can smooth it back into place. But without the mirror, you actually have to rely on people to tell you.

And it is painful when they do…

…especially when you’ve been told 10 times that you’ve got spinach in your teeth (ie. a thorn in your dag-on side) that needs to be taken out. By the time the random homeless guy walking down the street gets the chance to tell you, you wish you could rip it out but have no way of seeing how to get to it.

I want to rip out my selfishness, my timidity, my insecurity, my imperfection… but I can’t. I’m sorry. My mirror is broken and this is the way I rolled out of bed today. What I need are friends with really good eyes, good hearts, and surgical hands. What I need are friends I can trust. I’m glad I have a few of those.